The moon is cheese

Elise: There's the moon. It's made out of cheese.
Daddy: YOU'RE made out of cheese.
Elise: No Dad. Children are made out of paper and tan.

On dying.

Our dog Brutus died in November. He was quite the family dog. We all loved him. Elise asks about him every single day. She made up some story in her head about how he was sick and medicine didn't work so he went to live in a yellow house with other dogs. Fine. Could be close, huh?

It's going on 10 months of repeating the story every morning.

This morning we were in the car and she said "Mommy? Where is Brutus? Did his medicine not work?"
I finally thought she could grasp it and said, "Honey, Brutus died."
"Oh." she replied and paused.
She took a deep breath and said, "Well, dying isn't good now is it?"
I said, "No it's not."
She told me, "I think dying is pretty sad. Sometimes flowers die. One time I had a balloon. It did die. Dying sure isn't a good thing."

No honey, it's not.

Too much Scooby Doo?

Elise found a dollar this morning. She was so excited. She ran up and said "Mommy! I found a dollar! Is this Old Man Jenkins on this dollar?"

That would be George Washington honey, not the old man who would have got away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids.

What do you think of me?

Last night I was holding Elise. She looked up at me and said, "Mommy? What do you think of me?"
I replied, "Well, you're my daughter. You're beautiful, you're funny, you're a smart little girl and I love you very much. Why do you ask?"
Elise smiled and said "I don't know."
So I asked her, "What do you think of me?"

Elise, "Eh, you look pretty good."

Hey! Lady!

We went through the Walgreens drive thru yesterday afternoon.
From the back seat Elise started yelling to the pharmacist:

Hey! Hey! Hey lady!
We're going to the State Fair!

The State Fair starts in 2 days. We haven't talked State Fair in months.

Long time no chat

It's been a busy summer. Miss Elise is playing and growing and becoming quite a young lady.

This morning I smooched her on the cheek and said:
"I sure do love you."
She looked up at me and said:
"I'm sure you do."

Daddy works

Me: Joe, turn down the TV!
-nothing-
Me: Joe! Turn down the TV!
-nothing-
Elise: Mommy, Joe doesn't listen. Daddy works better. Try that.

More potty stories

On the way to the zoo, Elise suddenly had to go poopy RIGHT NOW. So we pulled into Walgreens not knowing that you needed manager approval to use the restroom.
We're waiting in the back for the manager and she grabs a huge container of Miralax off the shelf and blurts out "Hey mommy! You like this medicine, don't you!?!" (huh?)
Then the manager opens the door to the back break room and she tells him "Wow. It sure is dirty back here. Why don't you clean it up?"
After all that she only had to fart.

Sleeping in.

Me: "Wow! You slept really late this morning!"
Elise: "Yep. I think my healthy body is trying to grow."

Potty Talk

Saturday afternoon after running errands we decided to go out for dinner. Since we were in public of course it's important for any 3 year old to try out the bathroom.
So she's sitting there trying when someone else walked in.
She says, "Is somebody in here?" quite loudly to get the full effect of the echo in the restroom.
I reminded her that people do not like to chat while going pee. They need a little privacy.
She shouts over the wall, "OK. Well, remember to wipe down down down so your pee won't hurt!!!"

Thank God the lady had children of her own.

Daddy needs soap in his mouth

Last night Elise was asking Daddy about bad words.
She said “Is what the heck a bad word?”
Daddy: No.
Elise: Is God a bad word?
Daddy: Not really, but it’s better to say Gosh so we don't upset anyone.
Elise: (keep in mind she can’t say Fs) Is hor huck’s sake a bad word?
Daddy: Don’t say that ever.
Elise: But we say that daddy. You and me. Mommy doesn’t say that.

Pink Eye

We got the dreaded call from daycare yesterday that Elise had pink eye.
I called her Dr, set up and appointment and went to pick her up. On the way to the Dr's office she says "Hey mommy, I know what would make my eyes feel better!"
Me "Oh yeah? What would that be?"
Elise "Pancakes from IHOP. Pancake from IHOP make eyes all better."

My shoes

Just got home from daycare with my independent girl.
M: Do you need help taking off your shoes?
E: These shoes belong to me. I wear my shoes. I am in charge of my shoes. I will take off my shoes all by myself. You have your own shoes to take off.

OK then.

Fresh Catch!

When Elise was about 2 1/2 years old, she loved Salmon. When I made it for dinner she'd often eat mine, hers and daddy's. One fine evening she changed her mind.
She picked up her sizable hunk of salmon, shouted "Fresh Catch!" and promptly whipped it at me.

I always knew someday it would be funny.