American Idol

E: Dad? When are you going to go on American Idol?
D: I don't know. You think I should go on American Idol?
E: You're a pretty good singer.
D: That's true. They used to call me songbird when I was a boy. What do you think I should sing?
E: Give me back my fillet o fish! Give me that fish! Give me back my fillet o fish! Give me that fish!

That's what they get.

E: Mom? Can I bring my pink puppy with me to the gas station?
M: Sure.
E: Would anyone laugh at him?
M: Um, no. I don't think so.
E: Good. If anyone laughs at my puppy I will say "HEY! Don't you laugh at my puppy!" Then I will yell at them. Then I will make them cry. Then that would be funny to me. Then *I* would laugh at *THEM*. So they better not laugh at my pink puppy.

Skip To My Lou

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou
Diarrhea Chocolate.

M: I think it's supposed to be "Skip to the Lou my Darlin'"
E: HA HA HA!!! My Darlin'? I don't think so mom.

This one's from dad.

Elise was sitting on the couch playing her Leapster.
D: What are you playing?
E: Stinkersmell.
D: What? Tinkerbell?
E: No. Stinkersmell. She farts pixie dust.

Coming right up.

E: Mom? Could I have a snack of cheese?
M: Sure. Would you like shredded or plain?
E: Hmmmmm... Well I think I prefer Montery Jack in the shape of Colorado.

I guess I'm annoying.

E: Mom!
M: What?
-silence-
E: Mom!
M: What?
-silence-
E: Mom!
M: What do you want? Why do you keep saying mom?

E: You know when I'm in the bathtub and you yell "Elise" and never want anything? That's really annoying.

M: I say that to make sure you're OK.

E: Oh. Well are you OK? Or just annoying?

From the bathtub

E: Mommmmmmm! Oh Mooooooooommmmmmmmmm!!!
M: (running in to see what's wrong) What is it?
E: I made you something to drink! (she's holding a couple scoops full of bathwater).
M: Oh yeah? What did you make for me?
E: It's coffee. You're going to like it. It's hazelnut flavored coffee with a pinch of sugar and vanilla flavored rice milk.

I guess she pays attention.